Reflection is a critical practice in self-care. As this strange year of 2020
comes to an end, we all need to take a moment, hit the pause button, slow
down. We need to make time to reflect – now, more than ever before.
2020 was like no other year. It was a year full of interruptions, anxiety,
loneliness, challenges, opportunities… and most of the time we were just
not sure what exactly we are dealing with.
A time of reflection is all about slowing down and listening…
Listening to yourself – your body, thoughts, emotions, needs… your soul…
Listening to others…
Listening to your surroundings…
Listening to God…
Sometimes the thought of reflecting is overwhelming.
Where do I start? Do I reflect on the whole year? And what do I do
with all the thoughts and emotions?
I guess it is easier just to just skip the exercise and to continue with your
life. But then you will miss out on an opportunity that fosters learning,
stimulates growth, encourages celebration, calls for course correction and
renews focus and energy. The following exercise provides a template for a reflection that you can do on your own. It works just as well if you want to do it with your partner,
family or team.
To do this you need time. And a pen and paper. I want to encourage you
to put a morning aside in the coming week. Make sure you can make
yourself a cup of coffee and identify a place where you can relax, giving
yourself some uninterrupted time.
1. Take time to Remember – Reflection is often difficult because we
simply do not remember what has happened over a longer timeframe.
Maybe the following can help you: start in January and slowly move
forward month by month. Think of special occasions like birthdays,
anniversaries, vacations, and holidays as prompters of other things
that were going on. Think also about the arrival of COVID-19 and the
announcements of the different levels of lockdown. As you write down the
main events for each month, you will start to remember more incidents and
more details. Ask yourself the following questions:
Who were you with? Where were you? What was going on in your own life
and the lives of the people close to you? What was happening at your
work, in your neighbourhood, in the world?
2. Take time to Reflect – With your memories penned down, the next step
is a more focussed and intentional reflection. From all the
events/incidents/markers in your year, choose the 3 to 5 which impacted
you the most.
Now sit with each one of these moments:
- Can you recall what your feelings were at that moment? Maybe
some of these questions can help you to remember the feeling…
o What’s been disappointing?
o What’s been challenging?
o Where did you fail?
o What surprised you most?
o What was life giving?
- Look at the list of all your feelings. Can you link those feelings to a
need that has been met or maybe not met?
3. Take time to Process
Go back to what you have discovered so far and ask yourself the
following questions for each of the moments.
What have you learned?
Where have you grown?
Where do you see blessings from waiting? From struggle?
How have you seen God at work? What have you learned about Him?
4. Take time to share
It can be that you feel the need to write a note to someone, maybe
even to yourself…
- A note of thanks?
- Forgiveness to be extended or sought?
- New Priorities to be established?
In the busy-ness of life and this special season, I encourage you to set
aside a time for reflection. Whether done individually, as a family, or as a
team, you will be richer for investing the time in the process. You will also
be healthier – more prepared to move into the new year, ready for making
the most of each new opportunity.
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