The holidays offer plenty of reasons to be stressed out and anxious -- the gifts you haven’t bought yet, the vehicle that needs a service before starting the long holiday trip, managing your finances. But for many of us, the biggest source of holiday stress is family - the family dinner, the obligations, and the burden of maintaining family traditions. Nowadays there is another factor that adds to the stress – often families don’t agree anymore on the spiritual aspects of Christmas.
So how do we manage a Christmas celebration where you have family members with different views of what Christmas is all about?!?
Here are a few thoughts:
Remember to Respect each other:
One of the reasons families struggle to meet one another around the Christmas tree, is that old patterns of relating too one another often show up in difficult conversations. Even small differences in opinion can become a battle field.
Being humble and respectful in those moments doesn’t mean that you have compromised your conviction of what constitutes truth. Remember, it’s only when you have taken the time to listen and tried to understand that you will have the courage to relate to others in a vulnerable, humble way. When we attack the one who disagrees with us, we demonstrate our own insecurities. As we gather around the Christmas tree, it is good to remember that Jesus was all-powerful, and yet He humbled himself to be born as a baby and to serve humanity to the point of death (Phil 2:1-11).
Regulate Emotional Intensity
When we discuss spiritual issues with family members, our conversations tend to be so loaded with emotion that it is practically doomed from the start, especially in families where there has been a history of disagreement on such issues. Be aware of this and be careful not to be drawn into these conversations unintentionally.
Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing
When talking with family about the meaning of Christmas, we face a host of potential rabbit trails. We may enter into a conversation to talk about Jesus birth and suddenly find ourselves trapped in a debate about the Crusades, the historicity of the Exodus, or the doctrine of election. What does it profit a person if he clarifies all the theological conundrums of the world without focusing attention upon God’s love? This is the “main thing” — bearing witness to the depth and height of God’s love for all people.
Also for those with you around the Christmas tree!
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